Revenge of the baby sat II
by Corrupt200
Summary: Calvin and hobbes have another misadventure with Rosalyn. Rated PG-13 for WWII references..
1. Default Chapter

Revenge of the Baby Sat II  
  
Calvin's mom: Yes, Rosalyn, I'd like you to babysit Calvin again.  
  
Rosalyn: No problem.  
  
(enter Calvin)  
  
Calvin: ROSALYN!!!! %^$^$^ NOOOOOO!!!!! NOT AGAIN!  
  
Calvin's mom: I know you hate Rosalyn, but she's your elder. Besides, she wouldn't be mean if you did not pull your tricks on her.  
  
Calvin: But Mom!!! She's Hitler.  
  
Calvin's mom: Rosalyn told me how you called her "Mein Führer!" Do you know who Adolf Hitler was?  
  
Calvin: Of course! That's why I called her that!  
  
(Calvin's mom smacks her own head)   
  
Scene 2: (door bell rings)  
  
Calvin's dad: I'll get it.  
  
Rosalyn: Hello Mr. -----   
  
Calvin's dad: Hi Rosalyn. Calvin's mom and I will be leaving shortly. Now you know all the emergency numbers and what nots.   
  
Rosalyn: Sure I do; don't worry, Calvin will be under my control.  
  
(enter Calvin)  
  
Calvin: NO!!! Don't let Adolf in the house.  
  
Calvin's dad: Calvin!!!! That is a horrible comment to make to Rosalyn. She's been nice enough to look after you several times. Now you owe her an apology, otherewise you'll deal with two ultra-Führers until you are 18!!  
  
Calvin: I'm sorry Rosalyn.   
  
Calvin's mom: Hurry Dear, we'll be late for the concert. (kisses Calvin) Be good.  
  
(door shuts)  
Rosalyn: Allright bedtime for Bonzo!!!  
  
Calvin: But's it's not even six!  
  
(Rosalyn rolls up her left sleeve; there's a swastika tattooed on her left shoulder; Calvin gasps)  
  
Calvin: I'll go to my room. Runs upstairs.  
  
(scene: Calvin in bed with Hobbes)  
  
Hobbes: You mean she's a Nazi???  
  
Calvin: She had a swastika on her shoulder! Doesn't that explain it all?  
  
  
  



	2. Revenge of the baby sat II

Part II:  
  
Rosalyn: (on the phone) Yea Chaz, the kid must be trembling in his bed with that stuffed tiger of his.  
  
Charles: Whoa!!! Did you use any German phrases, like "Sieg Heil!"  
  
Rosalyn: No, the swastika did it all. Hey that dumb kid is not going to come out anytime soon.  
  
Charles: Doesn't his parents forbid you to bring boys into the house?  
  
Rosalyn: What would they know? They're as dumb as Calvin!!! I sucker them out of higher pay rates all the time.  
  
Charles: OK. I'll be over in 20 minutes.  
  
(Calvin's room)  
  
Calvin: (trembling) God, when will Mom and Dad come home? Hobbes, go out to the living room and tear her to shreds!!  
  
Hobbes: I would, but if I leave you alone for one minute, she could sneak in and slice your throat. I'll stay here with you, so when she comes, I'll be ready.  
  
Calvin: My body feels all stiff. I feel intense neural pains all over my chest and belly. And I can't breathe.  
  
Hobbes: Oh look Calvin, there's a car headed up the driveway.  
  
Calvin: Good, Mom and Dad are home! Let's go downstairs.Hobbes take cover.  
  
(downstairs. Doorbell rings. Rosalyn answers. Enter Charles)  
  
Charles: Hey Roz. How's my cuddly little rabbit?  
  
Rosalyn: Pretty relazed after sending the runt to his room. (Kisses Charles on the lips.)  
  
(calvin runs dowstairs)  
  
Calvin: MOM!!! DAD!!! Don't pay that tyrant!!! She's a Nazi!!!!  
  
He gasps when he sees Charles.  
  
Calvin: you're not my dad!!!  
  
Charles: Of course not. I'm Chaz.Roz's boyfriend. You pretty much know me already.  
  
Calvin: Oh yeah, we spoke on the phone.  
  
Charles: yeah we did.(grabs Calvin's shirt) AND IF YOU EVER DISS MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT AGAIN I'LL THROW YOU OFF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE!!! Do you understand?  
  
Calvin: Jawohl mein Führer!  
  
Charles: Care to repeat that little comment? (Calvin notices a small swastika on his forehead [just like Charles Manson]; only it is hidden in his hair )  
  
Calvin: I said I'll go back to my room! Leggo! (zooms back to bedroom with Hobbes)  
  
(Int. Calvin's room)  
  
Calvin: Oh my God!!! I'm trapped in this house with Charles Manson and Eva Braun!!!  
  
Hobbes: Actually, I don't think Eva Braun was a member of the Nazi Party, though she was Adolf's girlfriend. Irma Grese was pro-Nazi.so was Hermine Brausteiner.  
  
Calvin: How do you know this stuff?? Ah, that doesn't matter. We've got to call the cops!!  
  
Rosalyn (from downstairs): Wenn Sie die Polizei anrufen, ich werde Ihre Füße schneiden!! (If you are calling the police, I'll cut your feet off.  
  
Charles: Ja und ich werde Ihre Nase beißen. (Yeah, and I'll bite your nose.)  
  
Calvin: Oh God!! What did they say??  
  
Hobbes: I don't know. It did sound like German to me though. We better not touch the phone. 


	3. 

Scene (at the restaurant; it's one of those candle light dinners):  
  
Calvin's mom: Ah, this is so peaceful. Reminds me of the days before Calvin was born.  
  
Calvin's dad: Yeah. I know what you mean. Those were the days. We were going out the movies, eating at decent restaurants…well not as fancy as La Dolce Vita but the food was good nonetheless. We were staying out late past midnight. Not a care in the world.  
  
Calvin's mom: Oh those college days, when we were just hanging out in each others' dorms. All the more reason I tremble at the though of going home tonight at 9:30.  
  
Calvin's dad: Well…that does not have to be. I've got a little surprise…I've booked reservations over at the Grand Hotel.  
  
Calvin's mom: What about Calvin?  
  
Calvin's dad: Honey, it's Friday. Calvin does not have school tomorrow. Besides he's in good hands.  
  
(cut scene; house)  
  
phone rings; Calvin picks up slowly  
  
Calvin: Hello?  
  
Calvin's mom: Hello Calvin how's everything?  
  
Calvin: Call the police!!! Rosalyn is a Nazi! It's like a concentration camp in here. Plus she brought her boyfriend and he's threatening to dunk my head in the toilet!!  
  
Calvin's mom: Stop all those fibs and get Rosalyn on the phone. Otherwise you'll be grounded for a year.  
  
Rosalyn picks up the phone.  
  
Rosalyn: Hello, Mrs. ----.  
  
Calvin's mom: Hello Rosalyn. Has Calvin been behaving.  
  
Rosalyn: A bit rowdy at first, but now I've got him under control.  
  
Calvin's mother: I'll pay and extra $30 if you stay overnight at our place. Mr. ---- and I have decided to spend the night over at the Grand Hotel.  
  
Rosalyn: Sure, I could use the extra cash.  
  
Calvin: (listening to the entire conversation): NOOOOO!!!!!! MOM DON'T!!! SHE'LL KILL ME!!!!!  
  
Calvin's Mom: Calvin, shut up!! We're your parents and we can do whatever we want!! If we want to leave you with dem Führer we can. Rosalyn is one of the sweetest people you'll ever be. You should be grateful that she takes care of you when we're not around. I don't want to hear another word referring to Nazism, otherwise I'll send you to live with Susan Derkins!!  
  
Calvin: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Calvin's Mom: Goodbye! (hang up phone) 


End file.
